Tips for Navigating Bedtime Routines as a Solo Mama! – Guest post by Claire Dietrich
I don’t know about you, but getting my kids to bed is one of the toughest parts of my stay-at-home mom life. And when my busy husband isn’t home (which is several nights a week), it’s made exponentially more difficult.
You understand, I know you do.
My guess is that it happens to you, too. (HUGS).
So. I’ve consulted with one of my best and most efficient friends, Claire Dietrich of For The Love of Gourmet, to help us alllll through those though nights. I watched her masterfully navigate bedtime with her three littles for several days recently, and man…I was IMPRESSED. This gal has it to-ge-ther. So I’ve asked her to share her best tips and tricks with us today, and as always with her, she does not disappoint!
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“How do you do it?” Is the question that I get asked a lot. How do I handle solo bedtime? How do I get three kids under the age of five to bed by 7pm? My husband serves in the National Guard, which takes him away one weekend a month and again for a 2-3 week block each summer. On top of that, his Monday-Friday job frequently requires late nights. All that to say, I do solo bedtime 3 nights a week on average.
While handling solo bedtime isn’t easy, there are some things you can do to make things easier. To give you some background, my kids are 4.5, 2.5, and 8 months old. Even if you have to handle solo bedtime only rarely, these tips are still so helpful! Plus I think they’ll make bedtime easier even when you do have a partner there doing half the work.
Work around the baby’s schedule
I am a bit of a crazy person when it comes to my kids’ schedules when they are babies. They don’t miss naps, they have a good bedtime routine, and they go to bed on time. My boys are the older two and have a little bit more flexibility in their routine. But my daughter is only 8 months old and she is very used to her routine of bath-book-bottle-bed. If she gets her bath at 6:15, her bottle at 6:30, and is in bed at 7, then I have my boys work around that. My boys get their baths/brush teeth/in PJs BEFORE their sister even starts her bedtime routine. Then we read books while she gets her bottle (more on that later), and they read/play in their respective rooms while she finishes her bottle in her room and I put her to bed.
Figure out what time you need to start
Hint: it’s going to be earlier than you think. In order to not feel frantic and running around, I am getting the boys in the bathtub at 5:45. Yes, that’s a full hour and 15 minutes before my kids need to be in bed. But if I start any later, it feels rushed and chaotic. That’s the time that works for us and my kids have adjusted to that!
Explain to your older kids what the new routine is
This is especially helpful if you are going to be doing this at least a few times a week. All I have to tell my boys is “daddy won’t be here for bedtime,” and they know that they’re going to be getting their baths earlier and will get to read books (or have an extra 10 minutes of screen time), while I’m getting their sister ready for bed. Also, it’s important for young kids that they do have a bedtime routine. My kids know they have the bedtime routine when daddy is here, and the bedtime routine when it’s just mommy. But it’s not as though when my husband is gone the boys have no idea what their routine is. They still know what’s going to happen and in what order, and they’ve gotten used to it. It’s busy, yes, but there’s order to it as well.
Screen time
Don’t be afraid of being a little more flexible with screen time with your older kids. Mine normally get 30 minutes a day, but when I’m doing solo bedtime, the boys usually get a little more when their sister is in the bathtub. It makes my life easier and they sit and watch quietly it’s a win for me! They don’t get it every time I have solo bedtime; sometimes they play with cars or read, but sometimes it’s extra screen time and that’s ok.
Get outside
The crazy seems to come out in young kids around 4:30pm and lasts until bedtime. If you know you’re going to be solo for bedtime, this normal behavior is enough to drive you crazy. I try to get outside every day between afternoon naps and dinner, but I’m especially conscious of it when I know I’ll be solo at night. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, because I know you’re tired at the end of the day too, but maybe we got outside and draw with chalk or blow bubbles. Maybe we walk to the neighborhood park. If it’s raining, I’ll save a quick errand for after naps, bonus points if it’s one that involves a drive-thru like the pharmacy or our dry cleaners. The library is also a great quick afternoon trip if you have one close.
If you’re breastfeeding, consider a bedtime bottle
We’ve always transitioned our kids to a pre-bedtime bottle instead of breastfeeding as early as possible. This allows other people to be able to put the baby to bed, it’s easier to wean from, and I like seeing how much the baby is getting before bed to know that he/she has a full tummy. Yes, this means that I then pump after the baby is in bed which is a bit of a pain, but giving pumped breastmilk in a bottle is just so much easier. I can give the baby her bottle while reading to the boys and then she can finish it in her room after I’ve tucked the boys in. This may not be something that’s easier for everyone, but it definitely makes our bedtime routine much easier.
Things may look different
Depending on how many kids you have and their ages, this routine will look different for everyone. For example, if you have kids who can read independently, bath themselves, brush their own teeth, etc., your routine will look significantly different than mine. As of now, NONE of my kids can do any of that. I get the boys completely ready for bed before the baby gets her bath, and then we read together while she gets her bottle. They go to their respective rooms to read/play while I tuck her in. Then they each get tucked in. That’s it! But when I had two kids, I would give the baby his bottle in his room while my older son read/played in his own room. After the baby was down I would read to my older son and tuck him in. So my routine has changed as we’ve added a third baby, and I’m sure it’ll change again as my oldest can do more of his bedtime routine or possibly even has a later bedtime.
You can do it
Solo bedtime is not easy. Whether you work outside the home or stay home with your kids, at the end of the day we are all tired. Go into bedtime having a plan and you will get through it! It won’t be easy the first few times you do it, but the more you do it, the easier it will get! You’ve got this 😊
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Claire is a mom of three, recipe developer and food blogger, Army wife, and ultramarathon runner living in the suburbs of Seattle, WA.
Oh, and also, GREAT NEWS! You can have so much more of Claire in your life because of her amazing food blog! Find her on insta: @fortheloveofgourmet or visit her directly on her blog at www.fortheloveofgourmet.com. I know you’ll love her as much as I do! ❤️
Thanks for visiting us today! See you soon!
Love,
Ann Marie (& Claire) ❤️
More About Me: Hi! I’m Ann Marie, a blogging mama of 3 tiny gals, and a wife to a busy Orthopedic Surgeon. You can find me right here for a weekly smattering of inspiration for your motherhood journey, home, marriage (I see you other medical wives!), style, and beauty. You’ll find me most active on Instagram or Facebook for life between blog posts. And I truly can’t wait to see you there, friend. ❤️💋
To connect, shoot me an email at honestlyannmarie@gmail.com ❤️
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