Turning 40: 4 Things to Appreciate About Reaching This Milestone
Let’s party, people, because I turned 40 this week!
And before we go any further, let me just say that, historically, I’ve not been an enthusiastic “ager.”
Maybe you can relate, but when I think about getting older, a tiny sense of panic pings deep within. That panic is fueled by the drive in me that recognizes that there is oh so much more to give, see, accomplish, and experience in this one, glorious life we’ve been gifted. And I’m excited (and want to be here for) ALL of it. But I’m reminded, with each passing year, that, well… the clock is ticking.
On the up-side, as I reflect on the previous decades of life-lived thus far, it is very clear that despite some glaring drawbacks to entering your 40s (gray hair, wrinkles, possibility of more health issues, mid-life crises, etc), there are also some beautiful benefits to being exactly where I am today. And, obviously, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So here we are, where I’m making a case for 40 actually being an excellent age. If you’re hitting this milestone soon, I hope these words will encourage you. There is so much to be hopeful for and appreciative of, even with your age now starting with a “4.”
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”
– Maurice Chevalier
Let’s take a look at some of my favorite bonuses of turning 40!
1
You’re older and wiser. A lot wiser.
At 40, you now have enough life experience where you’ve made some mistakes and navigated the consequences of those mistakes. You’ve also made some great decisions and reaped the benefits of those. And that’s great news. Because having learned from your mistakes and successes, you’re able to use that knowledge to make better decisions going forward.
The lessons you’ve learned also hopefully mean that you’re capable of being more understanding and compassionate towards others because you have a better understanding of the challenges and complexities of life.
You’ve learned about more things, read more books, listened to more from your mentors and others you look up to. Maybe you’re a better employee now after some not so great performance reviews. Maybe you’re a better friend after thoughtless behavior hurt someone you cared about.
Now whether or not you use this wisdom to inform your decisions, well that’s up to you. Ha. But I sure hope you do, my friend.
2
Your hard work is paying off.
Chances are, success wasn’t handed to you on a silver platter. You’ve had to work for it. But now, you’ve had some years of experience in your professional and personal life. Hopefully by this age, you’re seeing things happen and likely, you like what you’re seeing.
Years ago, Tim and I looked very much forward to the days when school and medical training would be behind us. These days felt an eternity away while Tim slogged through medical school and then navigated another 7 years of residency and fellowship after that. Well… those days we looked forward to with great anticipation…they are here. With a job he now loves, the autonomy that comes with his advanced position and the financial security that we now enjoy, the hard work is paying off. And the dreams we had, of having a family, of raising our kids with our values and in a safe and loving environment, and then watching them thrive as they become little people in their own right, well, that’s also happening. And that was hard work, too. Really, really hard.
But it’s all been so. worth. it. And 40, as I see it, is a great age to really enjoy the results of dedicated navigation through the younger years.
3
You know yourself better than ever.
With a few decades of life behind you, you’ve probably learned about your preferences when it comes to your world. That knowledge can help when you’re designing a life you love. You know the routines that keep you healthy and happy. You have figured out your favorite ways to stay active, and recharge, and what balance looks like for you, and how you like to maintain your household and the jobs that come with that. You may feel more settled because you’ve fallen into those rhythms in a way that you like them. You’ve learned what good friendship looks like to you and the kind of friend you are. You have been able to reflect on the things that you did and didn’t like from your own childhood and hopefully used that information to determine what kind of human and parent you would like to be.
I have learned more about myself in the last 5 years than I have the entire rest of my years combined. A lot of that had to do with learning about the enneagram (if you don’t know about the enneagram yet, you can get my advice for beginners and determining your type HERE).
A lot of my self-discovery had to do with motherhood and struggling through feelings of inadequacy and discontentment. The process of evaluating why I felt that way and how to solve that problem taught me so much. But now, I’ve learned that I have to have my own thing going on and how to plan my breaks so I can recharge, how to lean into my faith and family, and how to ask for help. I know my breaking point now. And I know the warning signs to hopefully reverse course before I stray too far from the centered and healthy version of myself.
4
It’s not too late.
God-willing, at just 40, you will have many more years ahead. It’s not too late to do something incredible, and even something totally different, with your remaining years. There’s a lot of hope in that!
Even if you wanted to start something big and entirely new, it could be possible. You could change careers or move somewhere else. You could start a business, or go back to school, or even have or adopt more children.
You could even repair that relationship, or save for that trip or dream home, or learn a new skill or musical instrument. Seriously!
It’s not too late to change your mind about what you want to do with the rest of your years ahead. 40 is a great time to reflect and course-correct. At 40, there’s still so much time to enjoy the changes, big or small, that you decide to make.
And those are some pretty amazing things to look forward to.
Probably the happiest period in life most frequently is in middle age, when the eager passions of youth are cooled, and the infirmities of age not yet begun; as we see that the shadows, which are at morning and evening so large, almost entirely disappear at midday.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
A personal reflection on turning 40:
And while I’m at it, if you don’t mind, I want to take this moment to capture my personal feelings on reaching this milestone birthday. Because if I could, I would bottle up my overarching sentiment and exactly the way it feels: which is without a doubt, gratitude.
I am thankful for:
- My faith and getting to life a life just absolutely in awe of my creator. This life is an enormous gift, including the blessings and hardships that it brings. Just getting to live feels exciting and incredible and inspiring.
- My health – Heck, I climbed a freaking MOUNTAIN last week (Mount Saint Helens) and my body just keeps surprising me by doing even more than I ask it which I know is not the case for everyone and I am so fortunate for that.
- My kids being in a sort of “sweet spot.” I want to remember, as I turn 40, that I love the ages of our kids right now. 5, 7, and 9 is a lovely mix, where they think I’m the greatest thing since popsicles from our local gas station or a new pair of tennis shoes. They’re not too busy for me, but don’t need me to dress them or buckle their car seats. I would add no more wiping butts but that would be a lie.
- Finding Tim so early in life. We met at 13 and married at 22 and I marvel that I’ve been able to spend a majority of this ride with him. When we got married, we said we weren’t getting married so that we could grow up…we were getting married so that we could be kids together, and sometimes that still feels true today.
- A new community south of Seattle and the friendships I’ve gained from that move. I am also grateful to wake up every day on this farm and in this home we’ve settling into have made it feel, well…a lot like home.
Lessons to Share:
And then, lastly, I’m not one to give a lot of advice, and this is mediocre advice at best, but I will just leave you with a few life lessons I’ve learned that come to mind as I write this.
- The small things that went wrong weren’t everything. And they’re good for a chuckle and a decent story later.
- The med life makes you feel younger and older at the same time. Starting a career at 33 is interesting because you really don’t feel like you’ve “grown up” until then but at the same time, the journey makes you feel old (and yes, I’m speaking for both of us on this one).
- I’ve loved and lost and it’s always been worth it. I’ve invested deeply into friendships that were lost due to moves, or the unfortunate parting of ways, and I’ve never regretted the time spent or giving the pieces of my heart away that were later broken.
- Sometimes there are multiple good choices to choose from, not always one perfect choice. It’s easy to agonize over good things, but it’ll be okay later, I promise.
HOW I CELEBRATED TURNING 40:
I climbed Mt. Saint Helens with girlfriends and then headed to Maine to do Acadia National Park in the most beautiful house I’ve ever stayed in, with friends and family who traveled a long way to celebrate with me. So grateful to all of the amazing humans in my life (most not shown).
Happy, happy birthday to anyone turning 40 along with me!
It is my most sincere wish that this next decade be filled with more love, curiosity, and wonder than you could’ve imagined.
Is anyone you know turning 40 soon? Share this post with them!
Come adventure with me this year (I think 40 is going to be pretty great). See you over on Instagram!
Biggest hugs and greatest birthday blessings,
Ann marie 🖤
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Hi, there!
I’m Ann Marie, a blogging mama of 3 lil’ gals, a wife to a busy Orthopedic Surgeon, and a firm believer that you can never have too many chickens.
I’m so, so glad you’re here, where we discuss all things modern farmhouse, garden, motherhood, medical marriage, faith, travel, and more. I’m passionate about inspiring you to move forward in your transformative journey. In fact, I happen to be on one of those myself. Let’s do it together. ❤️
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To connect, shoot me an email at seedsandspirit@gmail.com ❤️